Ineffable Ontological Detanglement > Developmental Stages > Childhood

Don't put up black and white barriers, be real about things. Don't tell them to hide their feelings, be real about it and tell them restrain yourself and release yourself, even with us. Understand that you know kids will be kids and kids will grasp at their independence, tell them about the dangers in the world, tell them about the world outside their family, every little aspect of it at varying ages, let them grasp but of course protect. Outside of enhancing your children, light control. Set rules, tell them the way they should behave, tell them you understand they will rebel, tell them that in this household certain forms of rebellion do bring punishment, but we understand all we can do is set rules and you will always be you. Make sure they know this independence does not mean "I am an 'I get to do whatever I want my parents are cool' child." Try to get in the mind of your child in order to explain to them the way things are, do not try to get into the mind of your child in order to explain to them what they are supposed to be, your explanations of the way things are will hopefully shape them into something you want them to be.

When our society introduces to you a new unfamiliar parenting challenge, the solution is never "I don't know what to do with this new aspect of parenting, it is unfamiliar, take it away from the child, make their childhood exactly like mine was so I know how to manage it." The solution to there are perverts on the internet is not black and white just take the phone away, the psychologist on the news that sparked me needing to write this paragraph specifically stated "But engaging with the children personally and teaching them is hard. Take the phone away. I have a PhD. I am on the news. I am on a mission. A mission to tell everyone this is hard just don't do it. You all need to know this is hard don't do it." The solution is learn about the new concept and figure out how to teach the children. This one is actually incredibly simple, if you wish to black and white I don't understand this make it go away at your children, you tell them "Speak to nobody unfamiliar on the internet. Only your friends and family. I am fucking serious." If you are a person actually capable of proper parenting, you teach them about the kind of things to watch for, it's also pretty easy... Anybody who wants to speak to you put up the paranoid scrutiny barrier, watch for things such as overemphasizing their childishness, never never never get invested in your engagements with the person until you are able to do many many hard confirms about this person, and when you do these hard confirms do them paranoid, always look for things that look like an obvious setup to make you do a hard confirm. This is a thing that may take years and you should give up on most of them the second you are not certain. The second they say they want to meet you that's the trigger, that means pervert. No matter what you're not allowed to just go meet the people you only met on the internet in person, after a long series of video chats everything seems cool you're probably safe but Kit Carruthers' mind can still go places. You probably shouldn't take this all the way to any adult who would ever speak to a child is a potential pervert, that's always a little annoying, you SHOULD take it all the way to any adult who would ever speak to a child on the internet is... Not even potential. It's a pervert.

"Remove this freedom so it becomes all the more impossible to disobey my orders, now remove this freedom so it becomes all the more impossible to disobey my orders. You know what? I think I'm just going to pull you out of school and put a padlock on your door." You must let your children engage in certain dangers with a clear headed parental explanation of the dangers, don't remove any possibility of them encountering a danger. Even when it is the deepest of danger, do not impose fascism on your children, simply impose parenting on your children. Otherwise they will never learn anything. If your child is a fucking idiot I obviously understand why you would feel the need to be overbearing, and yes you must watch the idiotic children the hardest... You may need to be brutally honest and hammer into them that they must watch their assessment of their cognitive abilities and take their parental advice incredibly seriously. I'll let you do it gentler than I would I don't believe I will ever need to worry about this problem.

Morality is a thing inherent, however your child's brain may well come with a lower adherence to inherent morality. If they're smart children, they'll know to hide this from you, so you'll be safe. A lack of perceptual filter bypass child may have trouble finding their inherent morality, may require the rule structure... Now you have a new option, find the inherent morality in your brain you stupid little shit. Some of these children will see you hit your mother, pick up the "women are to be hit" preceptual filter and carry it for the rest of their lives. Sometimes their mother will explain to them that this is wrong, however they will be too smart to simply drop the knowledge of their father and enter into a contradiction, leaving them in a sad angry conflicted life of physical and emotional violence and quite likely a little brain fog until somebody is capable of explaining it to them in a manner that does not make them confirm themselves.

Do not enforce your rules on the children with "I hate that don't do that" feelings, enforce them with "The parental overlords will not be permitting this" feelings. Otherwise your children will feel they are in an argument with another person about how they are to behave and it is incredibly frustrating that the stupid other person who happens to be a parent doesn't see the reason behind "But I don't wanna!" Lack of perceptual filter bypass without awareness of inherent morality is in a constant battle against the rules, they're always figuring out consciously and subconsciously how they get to disrespect the rules. A temporary alleviation of the rules means they think the rule is stupid, and there's a pretty decent chance they are right. So now they know your rules are stupid. And they may end up knowing all the rules are stupid, all of them, if it's a rule it's stupid.

Hard hammer down on your children for being annoying. Don't just think to yourself "Kids love running around screaming at the top of their lungs cutting immediately in front of people as they're walking, it's cute, it's innocent, innocently oblivious to how much everyone hates them and us, he'll never want to leave this state of being, he'll fight it for his life." They need to learn early on that annoying is undesirable, the worst thing you could ever be is annoying, it will isolate you and leave you no option of recovery. "A good parent knows a child's happiness trumps all" is a parenting strategy that creates a very annoying human. "He doesn't mean to be this way" is like the stupidest thing you could ever think, "He doesn't mean to be an annoying idiot he thinks he's fucking fantastic and everyone loves him."

When bringing your children to public places is a project... You have a bag full of anything you would ever need to keep your child happy, everything required to turn wherever you go into the full scale of the home playroom, you have two strollers for children who are both clearly capable of walking as we can all see them running around the waiting room screaming but no inbetween these moments they much prefer not walking. You plunk down in the waiting room, the children then steal the focus of every single person for the next twenty minutes no you're not permitted to go looking at your phone you look at my children when they look at you and you smile this is about the children. These moments are a pretty good representation of the future of what you are unleashing upon the world, an attention sucking incident, the centre of the universe. Perfect example of the opposite of proper parenting, stay as far away from being this as you possibly can, the world does not like your children and they never will.

Spanking is ineffective. Punishment in general is not as effective as simply getting in the mind of your child and correcting it, but I will obviously never tell you to stop punishing your child. Spanking teaches the child that when they think another has gone wrong, the solution is physical violence. I'm not even going to go to society places on this one and say violence is wrong we don't want to teach violence, I'm just going to say that it is a stupid solution. "I don't like so I hit" is a really stupid thing to teach your child. Spanking teaches the child that the nature of this reality is you make people unhappy, you break the outside implanted morality rules, you fear the pain. They don't understand, they just know don't. Similarly with all forms of punishment without proper explanation, they don't understand, they just know don't. They're receiving the most simplistic and often unreasonable of lesson, and so they understand... The rules are to be dodged, the authority is to be lied to. It confuses the child, they don't understand loving relationships, the one I love is the source of happiness and the source of pain. It makes them develop strange incestual fetish fixations later in life. And most importantly... It isn't even very effective. Grounding is much more effective. Pain is just pain, it lasts 20 minutes to an hour. Grounding is a much better emotional torture, it goes on forever.

Never be afraid to hammer into your children "Children are idiots. They don't understand. As an adult you will understand." Go as far as you need to, never be frightened of making your children cry over the true nature of reality. There are some aspects you can lightly shelter, the ones that are horrifying. Gradually bring them into the ones that are horrifying. They're ready for them a lot sooner than you think they are.

There's nothing wrong with shattering a childhood. "But children just like to play and have fun, what's the harm in it?" They can play and have fun within the real world. The more you enforce their innocence the harder it is to protect them, you enforce their innocence hoping to protect them however you are doing the opposite. You try to give them the understanding of perverts on the internet, they're not going to believe you, the world is friendly and childish not threatening. Killing childhood innocence also serves the societal benefit of removing a lot of the floaty smiley face standards, it would be a pretty significant factor in eliminating our societal float.

All of this needs to happen. This needs to happen. Cling for dear life to your own dignity and mine, none of this is our fault.

You're better off teaching your children the real words for the parts we hide from the general public. They do need to be hidden from your neighbours and the people at the corner store, they do not need to be hidden from your very mind. Teaching your children it is to be called a "weewee" actually does pretty significant and horrendous things to their early adult psychology that may well be carried over their entire adulthood. "But we prefer to keep our children modest." Do you know what happens underneath the modest in childhood? EEEEEEWWWWWWWW is what happens. Their first sexual encounter, if they've maintained the feelings until this point which half of them do, will feel like "Baby Dougy wants put weewee in hoohoo moit moit moit." Luckily my parents never subjected me to this, but they probably should have told me to guard the fact that I know it's actually called a penis from my maternal side of the family.

"Wet dream" is actually a really bad one, you may not know this, my parents didn't know to avoid that one, luckily at that point I was all "...Okay I can just bypass this I've known what I'm doing down there for quite awhile already I pretty much figured out what it was after a couple tries and I realized it goes with the thoughts of girls. I don't need this talk, but thanks again for being GROSS." Sleep orgasm or, if you wish to go entirely scientific, apparently, nocturnal emission, although the word emission does kind of take the feelings to some places, is a better way to describe the moment of "...You wake up, and 'den, down der', yer WET." No matter how hard you try to remove yourself from societal sexual repression in the moment of this talk, due to the overbearing sexual repression within our society the sex talk with your children always feels like moit moit moit. It doesn't have to, we can make it entirely mechanical, but we have to resolve the entire overbearing societal structure.

Going to the bathroom in front of your young children, casually allowing them to see you naked, does weird disgusting things to the family boundary perceptions in the child as they grow up, makes you become very overfamiliar to them. This overfamiliarity cuts a lot deeper than you think it does, all angst the child may have towards you, all love the child may have towards you, in some ways it's all emotionally floating around the fact that they were invited to see your penis. It makes them think oh these things are not shameful they're a thing to be comfortable with and then they become ashamed of the fact that they're comfortable with them. It's a lot easier to tell your children society expects you to keep these things to yourself and reveal as little of it as possible however society also tells you it is to be your shameful dirty little secret and that aspect of it is false, on this one the children do not require a demonstration of how other people do these things too and it's normal. This demonstration may well lead them to thinking it's okay to... Shit in front of others and flash them, you broke the "it's okay" comfort zone too far by doing this now they're a menace to society. They'll garble up in their mind the concepts of privacy and shame, we don't need to dwell on privacy because we don't have shame, but now we're gross about the concept of privacy, and now we associate all privacy with shame when privacy does not need to be interconnected with shame.

It's not so great going to the bathroom in front of your partner either, I didn't want to put it in relationships because I don't want to have to bring us to this subject twice. It does gross things to those boundaries too, it's a lot harder to perfect sex object them in your mind, there's no reason to bring yourself to the "We're comfortable about the fact that we're both people" level of the relationship if you already had a pretty good base understanding of how this kind of thing works.

A lot of the things you do as a parent with your baby, weird sounding baby word constructions and strange noises must either be bottlenecked at the source or dropped somewhere around age three. Holding onto them really hurts your child, it isn't really adorable anymore and it hurts that you still want to be adorable. We can't touch it because the "Come on it's adorable don't be a baby" feelings that come out of you when we do this are also incredibly painful. If they're smart enough it makes them think... Engagement with a baby... Your creative energy latched onto this particular odd sounding word construction... I think you still seem to like it. I don't know what you're trying to do to me but I know it's gross. I don't want your weird obsession with my childhood and I don't want to have to think about your creative process.

Kissing your male children as your father does make them cringe at their relationship with you a little as they grow older, no matter where they are on the spectrum of sexuality. Yes. It's gay. Incest. That's the joke. But even if you're gay. It's just a comfort thing. You're better off leaving it.

Don't develop any philosophies relating to your breastfeeding meaning anything metaphrocially, you'll lock yourself subconsciously. Don't try to prove to the world that public breastfeeding is okay, you'll lock yourself subconsciously. No it isn't a disgusting private shame, you don't need to prove anything, this is not your mission. Now your children will forever know that you are a woman who tried to prove to the world moit moit moit. They'll lock themselves subconsciously. As did your husband.

Not trying to maintain your children's innocence and acceptable emotional intellectual appearance of children to the other society adults in any way will mean there is no way you will create an internal "Mommy says don't touch weewee moit moit moit MOMMY SAYS DON'T TOUCH WEEWEE MOIT MOIT MOIT mommy spank me harder moit moit moit MOIT MOIT MOIT save me fwom scawy world big scawy world say don't touch your WEEWEE MOIT MOIT MOIT ERGGHH YEAH YEAH MOIT MOIT MOIT YEAHYEAH MOIT MOIT MOIT!!!" The moit moit moit fixation is in fact one of the things that leads to pedophilia. It isn't the main one, the main one is being damaged by a pedophile and not knowing how to deal with it. We can only theorize the chain generally starts with moit moit moit, sexual repression is the main reason we have pedophilia. Any parent who tries their hardest to maintain their children's innocence, even if the act of growing up is not full of this level of moit moit moit, the act of growing up is a big fat "...Gross... WHAT!? GROSS. NO... No..." Wittle baby Dougy wikes to touch his weewee, wittle baby Dougy wikes to touch his weewee... Big scawy man in white van wants touch baby Dougy's weewee, mommy say that's what make you impure don't let him touch baby Dougy's weewee don't let anyone know baby Dougy touch his weewee impure impure... Repression and innocence is the most disgusting thing our society does to itself. Even when it's not sexual, the innocence always goes with the childhood moit moit moit. It becomes the childhood related "I might be weird" insecurities that may well touch all of your other insecurities with it's penis.

"EEEEWWW a PENIS, GROSS... Let's... Put it in a clean hospital setting, and... And... Poke at it with... With scientific needle equipment. Touch it with the tip of our finger and wince and giggle and look up at the man wide eyed and childlike, tell him 'Say baby Dougy wants put weewee in hoohoo moit moit moit.'"

Initiating an "open door policy" automatically declares you psychotic. You're not necessarily going to do anything as psychotic with it as my parents, your children are likely pretty safe, but it's some fucked up shit they have to slowly subtly come to the realization that they have incredibly dangerous parents. You are initiating a subtle underlying paranoid psychotic internal surveillance program. You are establishing backwards opposite land, now you have established that it only makes perfect sense that if you find out your children have not been revealing to you every little thing that's happening in the world of their friends it's because deep dark horrible secrets, if you don't know every little thing they're doing in their room at all times it's because deep dark horrible secrets. It's only natural, we labeled it "open door policy." We gave it the label that declares it normal, you understand it's normal son because it has a normal label a perfectly normal parenting label. You have to figure it out. Your parents are playing paranoid psychotic semi conscious mind games with you.

You hear about it from one of the others, I think this program is your kind of program, it's called "open door policy." I'll tell you all about it, I'll lock you subconsciously. You may or may not be a spreader, depends how consciously semi consciously fucked up you are, depends how semi consciously oblivious you are, but if you're a spreader you'll understand the trigger subconsciously.

It signals a lack of trust.

It is very alarming when a child wishes to close their door, you know the act of the child closing the door signals dark evil secrets evil secrets evil secrets evil psychotic paranoia secrets you know it does you know it does. If you teach your child to never close their door, you know you have signaled that you have claimed perfectly sane dominance over their dark evil secrets evil secrets evil secrets evil psychotic paranoia secrets.

If you're smart, all you can do as you semi consciously figure out what they're doing is develop a perfectly normal system of calm cool casual deflections and misleads. Because everything is cool, everything is normal, but they're putting their psychosis within their parenting and that's perfectly normal. They're putting aspects of their psychosis that have absolutely nothing to do with their psychotic parenting into their psychotic parenting and that's perfectly normal. They're forcing it on you and you have to take it because everything is perfectly normal. A lot of this isn't even parenting, you're doing some other thing that has nothing to do with parenting and you're calling it parenting. About half of these parents, obviously you know this was my parents, will adopt the ritual of... When they know you've done wrong or have found a way to invent you've done wrong they will sit waiting for you to come home for three to six hours with the lights turned off in silence and as soon as they hear you open the door say in an incredibly ominous soft perfectly normal tone "Sit down son, we need to talk." It will lead to the over stating of your perfectly normal thought processes such as "Of course you're free to use the f-word with your friends when we're not around to hear you, we would never do that to you we're very chill parents we understand how children are, just not when we're around to hear you."

Until I was nine, it was pure horror. The sound of their footsteps, always listen to the sound of their footsteps. I have no defenses, they know they get to go through my things whenever they want, they're always watching me, they're always trying to bring me into their psychosis and destroy me, they think they're normal they know how to present normal if I try to do anything about this they have all the authority. Then it slips quietly into my subconscious, I forget all about it, I maintain normal. I forget it's called "Open door policy." All I know is I'm always agitated around my parents, I always know they have the potential to destroy me. I know monitor their footsteps in relation to my room, always be prepared to present "Everything is perfectly normal. Everything is ordinary. We're all in a very normal family."

In high school, seventeen years old, I had my best friend over with his girlfriend and her other friend Cehie, this being the only time my parents had seen two guys and two girls and only that. Now, with Cehie yes of course I was hoping I'm always hoping with Cehie but no that was in no way the nature of the visit. My father needs to make a big fat come downstairs display and state "Remember son, we have an open door policy in this house. I know you're nearly an adult now, however this policy still applies." Oh right, that's what you... Called it... Eleven years ago. Open door policy. It slipped my mind, everything's been perfectly normal. I've figured out how to live in the basement now I no longer feel that subtle tension when I'm alone in my room. I no longer feel the urge to monitor your footsteps in relation to my room. Okay, well, thanks. Now I have to... Think about. No I wasn't expecting to be able to do that. I guess I was hoping to be able to do that but not in the manner where I would have ever seen it happening. It's just a friends visit. I am a little bit working on a plan for the future, a little, not really, it doesn't conclude tonight. Now I have to think about myself, now I have to think about what they're thinking about me, now I have to think about them thinking about you. Since when were you the type to label teenage sexual activity deviant, father? Since when were you the type to go requesting the diminishment of yourself from your teenage son to his teenage friends? I seemed to receive an implication that nobody was thinking that about me. My empath felt it, as soon he came downstairs, we're about to see a crazy person. We're about to see something that isn't normal.

[Hey Cehie. I'm name dropping you because I want to use you for The Solanaceae Collective. I know you're a Cello genius, I know you're more than attractive enough to be on stage. If you want to give up on your European Cello career I think you'll fit in nicely with The Solanaceae Collective. I'm no longer expecting to sleep with you. See, now, Cehie, coming to a new country the first thing I would learn in their new language is "I'm coming across as more simple than I am." No, I could tell you were not.]

By adulthood you have retained your psychosis, your self brainwashing. You can find out that after moving back to Winnipeg from Brandon, your nineteen year old son doesn't just automatically want to move back in with you and stay there forever, and suddenly your son is the most out of this world unexplainable what the fuck. What the fuck. This makes no sense to me, son, this is inconceivable, you moved to Winnipeg for university and now we're back in Winnipeg, you're making no sense, I was NOT expecting your answer... What... What. What. What. We know what this is, he's smoking marijuana. We always knew it. He seems like the type who will one day smoke marijuana. Like when he adorably innocently asked my permission it's only natural what he was doing was asking my permission to be friends with that darkness stoner his first day of high school in Brandon and I had to cry uncontrollably for three hours. That's the only reason you would no longer wish to be under the "open door policy" program of thought surveillance. Your deep dark horrible secrets. We need to do something about this. We need to figure this out. Our son is doing drugs we know he will lost innocent and confused drown himself in a life of sorrow entirely adorable and oblivious our adorable oblivious three year old nineteen year old lost and confused lost and confused and adorable entirely oblivious to what he is doing. Our son is doing drugs we know he's going to go crazy we know he is we know he is we know he is we know he is we know he is we know he is we know he is we know he is.

Then, once trapped, it's only natural that my mother is inside every little corner of my room and if I tell her to stop doing this she instantly confirms her son is psychotic. I was twenty six and twenty eight during the following two incidents. Back when even alcohol was not permitted, okay there's no way she can find this old mickey if before I can dispose of it I hide it at the bottom of my junk drawer. Nope, a few weeks later she just assumes she's going to reorganize my junk drawer for me without asking permission. Okay... Okay... There's no way she'll be able to find this empty bottle of Robitussin if before I can dispose of it I hide it under the fabric inside of an old duffel bag, underneath other duffel bags on the top corner shelf of my closet. Nope, a few weeks later without asking permission she just decides she's going to do something about my collection of old duffel bags and totally full vehicle tear down every one of them. "Of course you're not grounded, we understand you're an adult. But I need you to understand what you're doing, you don't understand, these things are dangerous, you have a mind that can't handle them."

But you always know, even if your parents ever did ask permission to go through your things, if the answer is no, you're in a lot of trouble.

I eventually was able to establish that I'm putting a sweater under my door to cut out noise, after "leave me alone" had been firmly implanted to the point they said they understood they'll stop about four times. It was to cut noise, but as soon as I thought of it I realized this is a safety establishment, now when I'm sleep deprivating I don't have to worry about those moments where they just assume they'll walk into my room and, I don't know, look for the cat, look for something they can't find in the kitchen that they think may be in my room. As sleep is very important to them, they've developed all sorts of philosophies about the importance of sleep, I'm going to assume semi-consciously related to the fact that the fact that I would miss a night of sleep every now and then back when I was going psychotic is my mother's reason for me going psychotic, unless of course she's selecting the drugs reason, she never uses both at once she only has one or the other. I've noticed if I answer anything other than "good" to "how did you sleep?" the level of darkness my empath is forced to absorb is pretty overwhelming, I know they may well be talking about it in a very serious voice for another twenty minutes. I don't have overwhelming empath, however their constant darkness at me is always incredibly overwhelming. A less powerful willed high empath would crumble to the ground, that's not supposed to happen. There was a time when most of the sleep deprivation was pretty involuntary, but my parents left me no choice as the proper "leave me alone" had not yet been established and if I am found sleeping four hours later than I would usually get up, my mother would see a man who's having trouble sleeping and potentially destroy humanity. So, I'll just give up and sleep deprivate. ANYWAY, I did this, and yet my father would still casually EEERRRRRGGGGGHHH with all his might to open my door whenever he felt like it. I figured maybe... There's a speaker beside my door, it's really heavy, I'll just move it over by an angle so it covers the door. If my father triggers this level of security I can now safely say "The reason for the speaker is self evident by the fact that you have triggered the system of speaker."

As an adult... If you wish to ever practice any form of independence from your parents, it's because you want to hide your deep evil secrets your evil secrets your twisted evil secrets you pure evil paranoid hallucination of a child you pure evil paranoid hallucination of a child.

Obviously, we're removing you from society. After reading everything we've written we've incidentally isolated you from all of society and everyone in it. We're not sorry.

However, you may not understand just how deep it goes. When your child does things that make a lot more sense than society, like, say, use a spoon for spreading things instead of a knife, you need to not give them the silly "We have a weird child." or in those off the wall social conservative parent moments the shrieking angry smack fest. No you do not have a weird child, you have a child who automatically lands on the most logical move, you are incredibly weird people for thinking this is weird. Until we can correct all of these things comfortably without anybody shrieking "WEEEEEEIIIIIRRRRD. WEIRD THING TO DO." and that's, just, expose that they exist and take a moment to scratch our heads and look at them cockeyed... Just inform them that society will look down on you, society will isolate you, society will have no tolerance for this kind of behaviour. Keep it contained.

If your child is not smart enough and cold hearted enough to know semi-cosciously to enter into the hard reject you in these moments and lock it subconsciously forever and ever they will instead lock your harmless charming fun "We have a weird child." subconsciously forever and ever. Now they're a little internally doomed to a life of self doubt, they probably won't ever attain cool, if they do they won't be able to become it fully internally, they'll always be looking at their childhood related "I might be weird" insecurities. The only way they'll ever get out of it is finding psychedelics and to you likely confirming everything you knew about them as a child, he would skip stairs when walking up and down stairs.

Now... This one drifts a little more opinion piece than technical academic manual. A little. I don't expect you to be me but you should probably consider being me.

You're thinking, when you look at your child, "Childhood is so precious, they'll never be able to have this time again, this time is unique, you have to let them have their fun play time." And, as an adult, we all know this is a nothing meaningless sentiment. As an adult, we don't care one bit about how much play time we received as a child. As an adult, we think childhood was pretty fun I guess I don't know I don't care adulthood is way better, anybody who doesn't is completely fucked up. You're looking at the child through a lens of not wanting to be overbearing, you want to give them freedom, but, they're a child, and you know they don't get the full freedom of adults in any other aspect of their life, so, there's no harm in being overbearing in this moment. You want to keep yourself happy knowing you're a chill parent who let's their children be happy. You're creating a future less happy.

Not... Overbearing restriction of playtime to the point of psychological torment and permanent psychological damage. Not the aspects of hard ass Asian parenting that remove the child from the friends life and in some cases may enforce a certain social conservatism. They still get to have their fun childhood. And of course, I am in no way expecting you to go as all the way with this kind of parenting method as I would. But, push the limits of your children's capabilities, try to extract the most you can out of your children. Ideally, make them understand for themselves that this is the only way to be when you're a child and you like it, now you still get to be a chill parent because you know your children are within correct thinking and so while you're still very in charge of this thing you will not be requiring the whip.

Now, not only have you created a better adult, an adult with a higher range and depth of skills, but you've created an adult fully ready to comfortably embrace the maturity of being an adult and be considerably less likely to in any ways still be an annoying inner child.

Find every one of your child's niche skills, extract the absolute limits out of them. I would say don't hard ass Asian parent enforce the skills that are not within the children's niche, but, a lot of these skills you still need to do your best with, but, they're not the focus. Now look at your child in adulthood, your child is going to find the areas in their careers and hobbies that actually fulfill them. They're going to be a considerably more interesting person to the others and themselves.

If there's one thing my parents did right, it was force me into Kindermusik, an early childhood development music program. Unfortunately my mother then eventually cut off my access to my hard ass piano teacher because he makes things unhappy, but, luckily by then I had gone far enough. Any further would have been for playing overly complex melody structure, I got just enough for reasonably complex melody structure. He very angry liked and admired me, I was cool with it. He would imply with me a disrespect for my mother, it was ever so slightly mildly uncomfortable but I obviously understood and kind of enjoyed the confirmation.

There are more effective methods of getting your children to expand their culinary palette and start eating healthy than traumatizing moments of "EAT IT!!! EAT IT!!!" as the child cries and crams it down their throat. Teach them about the subtle underlying things to look for in flavours. Start them out simple, make them understand what's good about certain types of vegetables by presenting them in a manner that appeals to them, have a discussion with them about what kinds of things they would like. Expand outward from here into a more adult palette.

Now we can get you out of the need to enforce eating every last drop until it's gone or else and fucking up our collective psychology. No, I don't care for waste either, I would recommend not putting enough on your plate that may cause waste. However, in those instances where you happened to find yourself accidentally preparing more food than you needed, you're given two options: Waste it by throwing it in the garbage, or waste it by stuffing every last drop of it down your face not enjoying one bit of it as you cry and have PTSD flashes from childhood. GET IT ALL... In there. Get every last drop of it in there or ELSE. That is an outdated method of thinking, we do not require that method of thinking in modern society.

It's actually really easy to break your children by doing it your way, fuck up their psychology towards food. My parents did it to me with pasta. As a child I did not like marinara sauce and they assumed the way to get me to eat my pasta was dry noodles with the processed fake parmesan powder, pasta night became my living hell and it took well into adulthood until I could enjoy pasta with marinara... Even though I loved marinara on just about anything else, I love pasta with alfredo, something in my brain just broke towards pasta with marinara, all sorts of trauma around pasta that took a lot of work to undo. I wish for you to force the hard realities upon your children, food is not one of them, there's no need to turn food into a hard reality. Food is not an appropriate "You need to learn sometimes we don't always get what we want" moment. Food is supposed to be easy, enjoyable, even if you're in wretched poverty there's no need to associate food with hardship.

Also... After they assumed the solution to me not liking marinara at first was force feed me dry pasta, from then on pasta night came with them all "Our son likes dry pasta with no sauce, just the cheese powder, weird child." as I fought back tears attempting to eat the dry pasta.